February 16th

I'm just trying to gather my thoughts from today...and while I of course have a tendency to ramble I think tonight might be an extreme...I've moved in a lot of different directions today and many thoughts have come and gone...some which I wish I could hang on to and others that I barely noticed had even arrived.

THE DAY BEGINS
The morning began as normal with a 4:00am alarm. I snoozed it and snoozed it and snoozed it until finally the chapel bell rang at 4:50am. I find that this quite annoying process has me more awake and alert than ever for prayer. I don't know, but as of late I've been getting into a legitimate rhythm and not tired for prayers. It also has been a boost being in the midst of the Nineveh Fast. I don't know if I've ever looked forward to a fast more than this one. It's not a fast shared by most of the other Orthodox churches as far as I understand. It's a fast for 3 days (from Sunday Vespers until Wednesday/Thursday depending) and serves almost as a primer for the Great Fast. The prayer structure, prayers, tones, and all else changes as it does with the Great Fast and was a powerful experience the last few days.

Since I've been getting into this rhythm my time in chapel has also been markedly improved and I've actually stopped sleeping after prayers are finished. This fast has some not-so-ordinary rules that I haven't figured out quite yet. It begins Sunday with Vespers. It calls for a midday Holy Qurbana on Wednesday. Yet the fast is not broken until a second liturgy on Thursday morning. The Hours are all different (tones, prayers, structure) than the normal Daily Hours for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, yet Vespers for Wednesday evening (technically Thursday Vespers) is from the normal Daily Hours. Seeing how Holy Qurbana took place on Wednesday and the special lenten prayers are completed with 9th Hour on Wednesday, one would naturally assume that the Fast is over after Holy Qurbana, right? Apparently not. There's a weird situation with this Fast, probably from a merging of different traditions and a liturgical conservatism that wished to preserve these traditions faithfully even after the merge. I haven't really inquired in depth about this, but this would be my initial hypothesis on the matter. (UPDATE: As of 6:33am I have realized that the Holy Qurbana on Thursday morning is actually a Feast-Day Qurbana commemorating St. Jonah the Prophet. I still don't know why the fast continues, but the prayers for Thursday were chanted in Tone 8, not 6 as would have been regularly scheduled...that is all for now)

Back to the ACTUAL purpose of my post (I warned everyone about my propensity to ramble, especially today).

After Night Vigil (Lilyo) and Matins (Sapro) I got to my room about 630am and felt incredibly refreshed. I decided to forgo sleep and prepare for Holy Qurbana. The Hours would begin at 10:30am and Holy Qurbana by 11:00am.

THE NEWS
I began to prepare for Holy Qurbana, but eventually fell asleep in my room around 8:30am and woke up around 9:30am when one of the guys down the hall told me that I had a phone call from the U.S. I guess it was both an odd day and odd time for a call from home. I think I've probably written this earlier, but I get very tense when I get calls at odd times and odd days from home. No calls, no problem. Awkwardly timed calls, no good. I checked my phone (which I almost always have on silent and I almost never check) and sure enough, 4 missed calls from my cousin here in India. and a message. Do I call back or do I check the message first? I knew I  should have called, but come on, there's a message. So of course I check the message and see the message that I basically had felt would be on the other end:

"Ammachi expired"

'Ammachi' means grandmother and 'expired' is the term that is oft used by Kerala-Indians (as far as I know it could be more people who do this but I have no real clue) to describe death tactfully. So my heart dropped and I called my cousin and there was all this noise and craziness going on...he told me that Ammachi had passed away just shortly before and that she was being taken to the mortuary shortly. That conversation was very short. I had to get to Qurbana which was now fast approaching. I was basically dull to the news. I had little reaction. I called home, spoke to my mom briefly, and that was it. I showered, went to Holy Qurbana and put her name on the departed prayer list. It still hadn't hit I don't think. But as 3rd Hour began I found myself unable to sing. I couldn't open my mouth. My eyes welled up, but I was focused on trying to get words out, they just weren't coming. Then came 6th Hour and finally 9th Hour and things got a little clearer for me. Finally after 9th Hour came the 40 prostrations. At that point the chanting of "Kurielaison" and prostrating basically kept my mind clear and focused.

I had known that my grandmother (paternal) had passed away for all of about 30 minutes before and here I was standing in the chapel for Liturgy.  For a second I had considered just not going at all...I wanted to just be alone...but honestly, how silly would that have been? It took me only a few seconds to shake off that thought. What better opportunity could I have after finding out this news than to head straight to prayer? I mean, I had her name remembered at the altar during the offering of the Eucharist...I was able to pray for her and my family with the community of the Seminary in the presence of our entombed fathers in the chapel that provided a second birth to the great leaders in our Church...suddenly it seemed more than silly that I would refrain from the chapel. It would go against everything that I had ever believed in and had preached about in terms of dealing with struggle, loss, adversity and so on. It's easier of course to talk, but honestly, to live it, that's tough. In all things give thanks to God.

Emotionally, it was a tough liturgy, but it was also incredibly comforting and strengthening on so many levels. Following the Liturgy incense was offered in the chapel for my departed grandmother by Metropolitan Severus who had also celebrated the Holy Qurbana that morning.

It also happened that today was an off day. Following Liturgy there were no classes. Arun spent the afternoon with me in the afternoon as I made the necessary calls and got timings and information straight. I talked to my little cousin who's studying in North India. She's getting on a train soon enough and coming home. My uncle (dad's elder brother) arrives tomorrow from New Delhi. My parents and my uncle (dad's younger brother) will be coming by Saturday early morning. Lij will come by Sunday afternoon. I also called Thomas Achen (who had already been informed by our Mylapra Church vicar). I called Metropolitan Clemis and talked with him, but was unable to get a hold of either Metropolitan Seraphim or Metropolitan Yulios. Shibu Achen and Abraham Thomas Achen were already at Liturgy this morning and so I talked to them personally.

Arun needed to work on some things and did so in my room while I worked on some other things...mostly research stuff that I have been pretty excited about...our conversation came and went...mostly about other things. I'm not a person who is particularly open about my feelings and stuff. Even in that last sentence I had to add "and stuff" to "feelings" just so as to deflect the awkwardness of saying that line and even this post. Mostly I think because of my reading and training thus far, there's little that people can say that would be a revelation to me...so instead of inviting well-intentioned, yet often trite advice or words of comfort, I'd more often than not avoid the situation altogether. Having Arun around was good for the main fact that he knows very well he ought not try extra hard to say something profound because I think he knows as well as I do that it probably would fall on deaf ears. Instead, talking about a number of other things and working as well was a positive outlet for me.

Even now, almost 12 hours have passed and I'm pretty sure I'm handling this pretty well. I'm generally a pretty emotional person, but have learned some things in the way of composure over these past few years. Anger is the one emotion that I still have trouble masking and/or appropriately reconciling with.

The last time I saw Ammachi was this past weekend. Talk about a blessing. I hadn't seen Ammachi in almost 5/6 months, and I was incredibly blessed to have been with her the weekend before she passed away.


GOD IS GOOD

I thought whether I should post a FB status, or just leave it be, but the more I think about it, really, God is good.

My parents had been in India for almost 3 weeks and this past weekend was their last in the country. So I took my first leave of the year from the seminary to spend with them. I spent a lot of time at home and a lot of time with Ammachi. She's basically been in the same medical condition for a few years now. Diabetes had taken its toll on her and she had become increasingly weak. Her memory was the most serious faculty to have been damaged though. Before leaving for my ordination I stopped at home and spent some time with Ammachi and she had trouble remembering me, but at certain points there would be a breakthrough and seconds later she would again forget why or what we were talking about. There were always a couple of things she wouldn't forget...among those were that I was studying in Kottayam to become a priest...long after she forgot my name, she wouldn't forget this bit of information.

This past weekend when I went home she didn't recognize me at all (among many others). Physically she was still the same as she had been for a while. No positive or negative change. She saw me and recognized I was clergy, but didn't know who I was. Then I would sit down next to her and in about 15 seconds her concentration would be broken and she'd start again. From close up, she looked at me and knew me, but couldn't say who I was or what my name was...she would always deflect the fact that she couldn't remember these things because when we would ask her she would say "Do I know you? Of course I know you." and then when we'd ask her to verbalize she'd say, "Why do I need to say. You know already." or when my uncle asked her what my name was she said "You ask him."

This time though, she looked at me closely and noticed my hat and asked, "You're already wearing a hat?"...and I would respond "Ammachi, I am ordained now." and she would reply "Since when?" and I'd say, "It's been over 6 months. I told you before I was ordained and came to see you after I was ordained." and she'd remark "Oh well, what else can you ask for?" and I would say "Well, to be ordained a priest." and she thought about it and said, "That's not an easy life. You have to be prepared. Have you learned all the songs? Have you learned the services?"...and so she knew who I was but the whole putting two and two together wasn't necessarily there...the reason that the tense changed a lot in the last dialogue is because that wasn't a one-time only dialogue...in the course of two days that conversation happened almost 5-6 times.

At one point she asked me whether I was going to Kottayam...I was shocked. Did she really remember that? And then I would say yes and ask her why I am going to Kottayam...and she said, to study to be a priest.  There were flashes of her memory here and there.

As people get more ill, more aged, there's a tendency to become ill-mannered and difficult to deal with, but Ammachi was always pleasant. When she stopped being able to remember things or when her hearing started to give out she would just sit on her bed and smile. That smile is etched in my heart.

From the time I arrived in India her health was in a steady decline. When I arrived her memory was not so bad, but not so great. Her prayers were strong and constant. Soon she lost a sense of time, day and night became blurred and so prayer was all the time. Her temperament was always light and playful...she was quick witted to the end. More recently, however, even the prayers left her memory and she would sit on her bed just smiling...calm and at peace.

Since my parents left Ammachi had been a little low on energy. She wasn't very hungry and had become very tired...tired to the point that my uncle was going to take her to the hospital this morning. She has her ups and downs often and on her downs they usually sleep in the room with her in shifts. They have a little cot to sleep on that is next to her bed. So my aunt spent the first half of the night with Ammachi, then my uncle spent the rest of the night with Ammachi. When he came to her room he turned on his flashlight and as always Ammachi was only half asleep and raised her head and motioned for him to come towards her. So he had my aunt go to their room to get some sleep before the new day began. Ammachi held onto my uncle's hand as she slept and in the morning my Aunt brought her some water, but due to her recent tiredness, they decided not to get her up and let her sleep a little longer. So my uncle started his daily routine of chores and came in to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully, but noticed her mouth slightly ajar. When he tried to then wake her up she was non-responsive. She was still warm, but non-responsive. She passed away peacefully in her sleep in her 81st year of life. Her final moments were reflective of her final years...at peace.

And for that, God is good. There is nothing for me to complain about, but just the pain that accompanies losing someone...however, not even that is something to complain about. It's a pain that arises from the blessing of having known that person in the first place. For that, God is good. For the blessing of Ammachi in my life, God is good. For allowing me to be here, God is good. For allowing her to sleep in peace, God is good. For granting her many years of bountiful life, God is good. For blessing her with a God-fearing family, God is good. For granting her with an anchoring Faith, God is good. And there so much more, and for that, God is good.

And today, God provided me the proper counseling by putting both prayer and the Holy Qurbana before me. It was not just for me to reorient the shock of this news towards God, but also for me to offer prayers for Ammachi. 

REFLECTIONS in the Form of RAMBLING
And I thought about the offering of prayers and remember the departed and how much of a "hot-button" issue it is among Christians...and I don't think that I'm going to be able to express myself entirely here, or well at all, but let me give it a shot. I don't want to get into a Bible-proofing exercise, because frankly, the Bible is not nor was ever intended to act as a proof text...normal from the Orthodox side the example of the prayer for Onesiphorous who is departed is cited as a "proof" for praying for the departed...and the Maccabees praying for their departed is the reason why the Protestants wanted the Deutero-canonical books out...All of these picking out convenient verses out of context seems just very sloppy and juvenile. It works in the opposite direction such as the famous misquoting of Psalm 115:17, "The dead do not praise the Lord, nor do any that go down into silence"...and then the conveniently left out verse 18, "But we will bless the Lord from this time on and forevermore. Praise the Lord!" and the even more conveniently forgotten context of the Psalm which is basically comparing the worship of lifeless idols to the worship of the lifegiving God...Worship of what is lifeless is essentially dead, whereas worship of Him that is lifegiving is, essentially living. And this whole "context" of the Psalms, especially in looking at the language of praising the Lord forever, which is one of the most common exhortations and pronouncements of the Psalms are all not possible if we want to read it as literally as those engaged in Biblical proofing are involved in. All in all it is lacking of any true interpretation with integrity or or proper analysis of Holy Writ.

The Scriptures are not there to prove a point or disprove a point, but rather to establish the Truth, among other things to demonstrate God's salvific plan for humanity.

So instead, what do I look at when reflecting upon the departed? Of course the Scriptures are the basis of reflection, but what is the Scripture's purpose? Obviously, you have to look at context...bear with me though as I ramble, if you really wish to.

Why do I pray for the departed? Very simple put, Love. In Christ, the bond of mutual love and prayer unites all believers together. What is particularly striking is that as an "assembly" of believers, we are not joined to each other by our own temporal bonds (i.e. brother, sister, friend), but rather we are joined to CHRIST. In being joined to Christ we are joined to the ENTIRE Church...to ALL believers. This is much more meaningful than our temporal and limited understanding of Church could ever imply. Our life of prayer, liturgy, Eucharist all lead to a deepening and strengthening of this very realization, fellowship, and communion to the entire creation IN Christ.

We are one IN Christ. Inseparable IN Christ. We are made ONE in baptism and we maintain our oneness with Christ through the Eucharist. This unity is FOREVER and ETERNAL. Anyone who would pose only a temporary or this-world unity ought to go through the Scriptures and open your mind a little wider to what Christ really offered to us. He almost always calls us to think a little higher, to get our mind out of the proverbial 'gutter'. We're often too tied down by worldly concerns and considerations that lead us to ask a number of questions that bring us into the nitty gritty details of the implications of such a belief, or so eager to argue that we lose sight of what Christ and the Scriptures actually show us to be the case.

Now, I'm not saying that those nitty gritty details ought to be passed over, but to a certain extent we will never really know all that we'd love to know about life after our physical death, or God for that matter. We work with what we have. We are 'baptized into one body by one Spirit' (1 Cor 12:12, Gal 3:27-28, etc) and in one bread we 'who are many are one body' (1 Cor 10:17). The lack of a true understanding of what baptism and Eucharist are serves as a great hamper to even start a discussion on the same page...which is why the discussion regarding the departed is so circular and very rarely bearing of fruit...

Ok, I've continued to ramble...I'm going to try to conclude my quite long remarks now: I will not even pretend to be capable of answering and addressing all the many issues regarding the departed, but when it comes down to what is vital, that's love, the Love that Christ offered us and showed us in His Incarnation and Crucifixion. He exhorted us to abide in Him. He provided us baptism to be united IN Him...Our bond to the departed is not to them by individual bonds, but through our bond to Christ to everyone. What is not of the vine will be cut off. The bricks that are built on the Cornerstone are not removed with each generation, but rather continues to provide the foundation by which we and the coming generations will be built upon. Christ neither disappears, but is the eternal cornerstone, the eternal foundation, the eternal vine...the only thing we know that is not part of this are those who are cut off, those who are discarded, those who are separated out. Not the faithful who undergo physical death. In fact, St. Paul writes, "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Read that again - NOTHING. If you understand this in the context of Christ's teaching about Himself and the Church, in light of Paul's other writings, and then in light of the Faith of the Church whose foundation and groom is Christ, Himself, the dissension grows weak and the polemics fade. How can St. Paul be so bold in taunting death, in saying "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?". It is not because he will not physically, or we will not physically die, because we shall, but his 'audacity' is rooted in the Faith and realization that IN Christ we have eternal life.

What does this eternal life entail? While we wait for the Second Coming, St. John clues us in Revelations  7:15, "For this reason they are before the throne of God and worship him day and night within his temple, and the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them..." We will and our departed do, worship Him...night and day.

We are made for His worship and we will worship and our departed will worship as we worship while we have our physical existence. We unite our prayers with the praying community who have departed from this earthly life. This bond that unites this community, the Church is love. Love is how we know Christ, it is how we know each other, and it is our duty. Love. We look at all the practical questions of "why pray for someone who is dead? what good will it produce? what effect will it have?" but honestly, is THAT why we even pray? If so then our prayer life is so decrepit, stale, and lifeless that we have little claim to the Christ that became Incarnate, was Crucified, and Resurrected...if our prayer life is set upon the profit and mindset of what to gain and not based upon our strengthening of fellowship and communion in God for that very purpose...then how sad are we?

If we intercede for the living and the dead only with the assurance that some situation will be rectified, how sad is our situation? Do we only pray for the sick or suffering so that they be healed or that their struggles cease? Surely that is OUR will, but not necessarily His. How sad and misguided. How many times is it NOT the case that healing does not come, or that struggles only increase? It is not for lack of Faith that we are frustrated when healing does not come or that life does not become easier, it is because of our misguided understanding of who God is and who we are. Our expectations of God are inconsistent with what we can possibly know of Him..

We pray because we love. We pray because we know how to do nothing else. We plant, we water, we fertilize, we work, but in the end God gives growth...and we find ourselves completely dependent upon Him when all of our best efforts have been put forward. We offer ourselves at His feet and lay ourselves before Him to do His work. We plead with Him that His will be done, whether or not that be our will. He always hears, but does not answer how we want. How silly of children to demand what they think best for them from the parent. How much sillier must it be that we demand of God what we think is best for us and our loved ones? We pray. We do not demand of God, but we plead for His mercy...for us, and for our departed...and for the entire world. We pray for them not because we expect a change, but because we know no greater expression or manifestation of love than prayer. We worship Him who is perfect and who loves us perfectly. We offer ourselves, we offer our departed, we offer everything to God for sanctification and perfection. We believe in the dynamic union between the departed and living based first and foremost because we believe in a living and dynamic Christ. We are the Temple, the Bridegroom, the Vine, and the Body of Christ. We are not cut off. Not even death, not even death can separate us from the love of Christ.

A Great Evening

Introduction

The last time I blogged, I wrote about how miserable my last break went and lamented the wasted days and opportunities...well, after three weeks back at the Seminary following a 2 week winter break I can honestly say this has been one of the best stretches of my life in India in these last 6 years.

I will eventually get back to my winter break (Malad-Bombay, Pune, Bangalore, Hyderbad, Cochin), but for now I will just talk about tonight.

Introduction to the St. Thomas Apostolic Seminary

Tonight the senior batch from St. Thomas Apostolic Seminary, Vadavathoor visited us. This is the seminary of the Syro-Malabar Catholics. A small group of my batch went as representatives of our seminary to Vadavathoor (the Catholic seminary) a few days back as invitees to their ecumenical-awareness week. We received a tour of their campus, joined them for vespers, then had dinner with them. The night was capped with an informal period of talking and enjoying each other’s fellowship.

I had been to their seminary before to purchase books from their bookstore in years past, but I had never actually interacted with their seminarians or got a feel of their campus or culture, but honestly, me and my fellow batch-mates were blown away. Blown away by their campus, the professionalism of how it was organized, maintained, and respected as well as the warm hospitality they extended to us. Both of our batches hit it off real well and quickly it felt like we had been friends for years. It was one of the most genuine and heartwarming experiences I have had in a while. We almost instantly developed this bond with these guys and when they came tonight they literally didn’t want to leave and we would have kept them here. Finally, their staff advisor, who also thoroughly enjoyed his time with us, got them all in and then we spent like 15 minutes talking with them even after they were in their bus ready to go…it was just a refreshing experience for everyone around.

They Visited Us Tonight

So tonight, the senior batch came and visited us upon our invitation and they joined us for Vespers and dinner. They arrived around 5:30pm and were given a short tour of our campus (which is nothing like their expansive and beautifully designed campus…most of us were embarrassed to show them our campus after seeing theirs the other day). We entered chapel for prayer around 5:50pm. 9^th Hour and Compline was in Malayalam, while Vespers was conducted in Syriac. A few of their students knew Syriac and were at least able to follow along as we sung. Friday Vespers in Syriac is wonderful.

Near the conclusion of Compline a group of like 40 people formed right outside the door of the chapel as the chapel was overflowing with our 120 students + 32 seminarians from Vadavathoor, and then these 40 new people. When Compline was finished and the intercessory prayers were completed, Mar Severus blessed all the members in attendance for Vespers as Fr. M.P. George chanted the final blessing in Syriac. It was beautiful as always…but when we motioned for the group of 40 standing in the back to come for the blessing, they maintained their place and politely declined. Interesting, I thought…but not when they were finally introduced did it all make sense. After prayer and the blessing was done, Mar Severus welcomed all the guests who joined us for prayers tonight…first the priests and final year students from Vadavathoor, and next the professors and students of the Kumbanad Bible College of the Indian Pentecostal Church…hmm, now it made sense why they didn’t come for the blessing. We didn’t know they were coming at all and it was a complete surprise, but honestly, how cool was this? Our Catholic brothers and the seminarians from the Pentecostal seminary…what a blessed gathering of God-fearers!

Welcome Speeches and the Evenings’ Happenings

After Mar Severus’ pleasants words of welcome, Fr. MP George, our professor of liturgics and liturgical music, took over the public meeting. He warmly welcomed both communities who joined us today. He related his experiences with the Catholics and his past time teaching their students when they called him. Fr. MP George is incredibly welcoming and really knows how to make guests feel like they belong. He did an incredible job of managing the potentially awkward situation of both seminary communities at the same time. He commented about the stacks of paperwork that is involved in ecumenism, yet how these last couple of visits have transcended those efforts…that all the studies and discussions can never take the place of actual fellowship and love in the union and bond of Christ…very heartwarming and sincere words from Fr. MP George, who spends time at many of the other seminaries teaching music when they call him for special sessions and classes.

The Roman Catholic staff advisor then spoke a few words and talked about practical ecumenism and the need to increase our efforts in developing a stronger relationship between seminaries and students…but then he admonished us saying that as Orthodox, we have more autonomy to develop these relationships than they do. As Roman Catholics, the hierarchy plays a key and sometimes frustrating role in ecumenical discussions and relationships. He encouraged us to do what we could do within our own limitations and to the maximum of the freedom that the Church allows. He also took a slight inadvertent shot at the Pentecostals by saying, no offense, but the Vespers with its ancient chant, language, meditative atmosphere, discipline, and order created a very prayerful culture within that chapel as opposed to the shouting, drums, and chaos that has become popular in contemporary Christian worship. He also reflected upon the beauty and atmosphere created by the chapel that is 150 years old. This particularly stood out to him in light of all the new churches which are constructed more as auditoriums or large halls, as opposed to a worshipping space.

One of the Bible College professors then delivered a few words about unity and strengthening the bonds of love in Christ. His words were short, but well appreciated. At the same time, he made sure he got his two cents in about ecumenism as well by stating “We understand the Church not as yours or ours, but as Christ’s. So in a very real way, we see everything we do as ecumenical, because it is Christ working, not anyone of us individually”. Point taken. Nonetheless, his words were nice and appreciative.

This was followed by the singing of Psalms 84 by the Vadavathoor seminarians and the singing of a hymn by the Bible College seminarians. Fr. MP George was compelled to by the Vadavathoor seminarians to sing a song so he began by teaching a simple Christian hymn, and then finally treating everyone to a Christian hymn chanted in this kind of Indian classical style. It was incredible. Following this we took the Vadvathoor seminarians to dinner and spent a lot of time in fellowship.

My Reflections
In a lot of ways we talk ecumenism a lot, but when it comes to actually interacting, learning, and appreciating others it’s so easy to just live in theory and not reality. These kind of moments are so important as far as I can tell in developing relationships, understandings, and a genuine Christian love for each other. I mean, there are certain things that I will never be able to accept, namely the Pope. Just about everything else with the Catholic Church at this point is forgivable, but the institution of the papacy is just so wrong and evil in what it stands for, that it is unacceptable for any Christian to accept…In fact, most of anything else as an Orthodox I would have to disagree with the Roman Catholics on, it mostly stems from the institution of the papacy. This position may catch those reading off guard, but I supposed that my thoughts on this will eventually come out in a more detailed manner, but the basic gist centers on the absolutization of power in the hands of any one human being or a position held by any one human being. It is not Christian from a biblical, historical, or theological point of view. The natural, yet unscientific system of checks and balances that the Church knew in its practice and history is ignored and effectively crushed under the weight of an absolute authority in the Church that is not Christ, Himself. Like I said, these thoughts will eventually become fuller as I write more.

Nonetheless, the Vadavathoor seminarians were just wonderful human beings and fast friends. We are planning to host an exhibition volleyball match between our two seminarians one of these days and I think our entire final year batch will be visiting Vadavathoor in the coming weeks. It really was just a great time of fellowship. They were just so real and down to earth…what a great evening.

November to December in a Nutshell ( a large nutshell)

From Bangalore to Nowhere in Seconds

My last post left off as my trip to Bangalore was booked and ready to go, right? A week in Bangalore visiting two of the Church’s charitable institutions, an orphanage and an AIDS home. However, as I had posted last time, my classmate’s father passed away unexpectedly and his funeral was set for Thursday. Knowing this I knew fully well that I couldn’t leave on Tuesday. So I buried my leave note under my things as it was no longer useful to me and hung out at the seminary until Thursday while my classmates were prepping for their last exam, Johannine Thought. I didn’t have to take it this semester because the Greek-version of the exam is offered only next semester. So instead of taking the almost week I had off and traveling and using one of my final breaks in India doing something I had wanted to in a long time…I spent it at the Seminary not of my own volition. And for those who haven’t been in personal contact with me over the last few months, this last semester had grown increasingly intolerable. I felt claustrophobic and I couldn’t breathe…I couldn’t escape. I know this sounds weird, me being the guy who opted to stay at the seminary multiple weekends in a row while everyone else was out gallivanting throughout Kerala…but it was different. At that time no one else was on campus and there was peace. Now everyone was on campus and the mental, emotional, and spiritual minutiae and conflicts began to build and build and build. Finally, there was no physical release, I couldn’t go to a batting cage like in the old days, I couldn’t throw something, hit something…there was no place for me to scream or vent…it was just a lot of drama building up in my head as little things just kept piling on…and just snowballing…and I felt trapped and there was a lot of frustration…the thought of time being unused…the thought of it being my last time living in India, yet me not utilizing that opportunity to do what I needed…it all wore away at me.

In Search of Quiet

And so I stayed at the seminary and participated in my friend’s father’s funeral. The service went very well and all the deacons were in attendance. It was the right decision and I had no qualm about it. I was just frustrated by the numerous other details in my life that upon retrospect, I can of course say were silly. So then I decided I needed a retreat. It would be too much to go to Bangalore since it was already Thursday…The Feast Day of St. Gregorios of Parumala was on Monday evening through Tuesday morning and I vowed not to attend. I know this also may seem weird…but I have no issue with visiting his tomb, participating in a Liturgy in Parumala…but I do not do feast days well at all. Too loud, too much bustle, too busy, too much chaos, too much commercialization…I do not handle these things well…so I received permission to excuse myself from those festivities, even though leading the liturgical services of the two day festival are oft considered the highlight of senior year of seminary…this was a highlight I had little desire to share. I needed to disappear. Just leave, go some place where I am not known…no phone, no means of communication. I literally wanted to disappear to a desert, but in place of a desert I would have to make due with trendy touristy spots that were hopefully empty.

Potential Retreat Destinations

So I decided that I was going to go on a retreat, but the question was where? I had four places in mind: Pondicherry, which was an old favorite of mine. Pondicherry is this sweet, quiet, peaceful, and charming French colonial town. I fell in love with it last year and have been yearning to return. The only problem is that if you want to go by private bus it would be expensive and an overnight trip. If I wanted to go cheap, I could go by train for 10-12 hours, then bus for 5 hours and spend all of the equivalent of 5 bucks for the hassle of travel.

The second place on my list was Fort Kochi, which is a sleepy ocean-side British colonial town opposite of THE city of Kochi, which is so dense and overwhelming and distractingly “contemporary” that it makes me queasy. This was the most economical of the options I think because transit to Kochi was so easy and from the city travel to the Fort was just 2 rupees on a government boat for a 15 minute boat ride to the Fort…and accommodations there are all basically home-stays, which means they are negotiable.

My third option was Varkala. A touristy city right on the ?Arabian Sea?. Arun, Lij, and I went once during the off-peak season and it was, peaceful. As you can see, there is a common theme running through my destination plans. Varkala was more touristy than I preferred, but it was definitely a place I could return to and it was MUCH closer and accessible than Pondicherry. We had also met a guy there who owned a Juice Hut, who also offered a place to stay next time we were in town. He was a nice enough guy. He had been some big businessman in North India for many years until he realized that it wasn’t the life for him, so he got out of that and bought this little hut and started making fresh juice and foods…and it has been a hit and he’s been successful, and most importantly, he’s been fulfilled. He’s living a dream and he made for good company last time we were in town.  This is about a 4 hour trip by train, which would have been cheap…but the stay would have been a little more expensive seeing how it was hitting tourist season…the cheaper the room the further from the beach. Frankly, I could care less about the beach, but there was one place that I had had a coffee when I was there that was on this incredible cliff overlooking the beach, which due to tides, were non-approachable…so perfect for me…beautiful sky, waves crashing, no annoying tourists, refreshingly clean air…my best shot was to get into contact with the Juice guy…that is if he remembered me.

Then we come to my fourth option: Kanyakumari. The enchanted land where the three waters meet…I think those three waters are the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean, and the Bay of Bengal. It was a place I had never been…it is located in Tamil Nadu, which is the next door state to Kerala, where I am from. I thought, well, let’s give this a try. My brother and Shaun Sem had gone there almost 4 or 5 years back and spoke highly of it. There is a small rock-island right off the coast of Kanyakumari that you can take a boat and visit. The great Hindu sage and “missionary” of Hinduism to the West, Swami Vivekananda, had stayed and meditated upon this rock when he came to Kanyakumari. Today the rock is known as “Vivekanandapara” (or Rock of Vivekananda) and has become a tourist spot…however, my brother and Shaun Sem both spoke of the room of meditation that was complete and utter silence once you arrived at the rock.

The Decision: To the Rock!

So, since my idea was to disappear into silence, meditation, and reflection, naturally, I decided to go to the place that has the most spiritually uplifting reputation, obviously, to Kanyakumari to Vivekananda’s rock.

Little did I realize how poorly God looked upon my dream of escape. I felt like Jonah trying without success to run as far as he could from God’s commission. Only, I was without a commission. I was just trying to run away from the Seminary. At least Jonah knew what he was supposed to do. I had really little clue, but I knew I was running from something…and as far and hard as I would try to run it would lead me nowhere but back to Kottayam and then Parumala. More on that later.

After Dn. Abey’s father’s funeral, I came back to Kottayam realizing that a stay at the seminary that night would be more than tolerable because of the reward of my travel the very next morning. I rested at the Seminary that evening and got on a train at 5:30am from Kottayam for Kanyakumari, about a 6-7 hour trip.

I arrived at Kanyakumari around 1pm and the trip did not start off well. The auto driver tried to charge me 200% more for a 1 km trip to the beach, so I started to just walk it until finally another autorickshaw driver made a more reasonable offer. What I didn’t know was that as a single person it would be incredibly difficult for me to book a room. It sounds out of the ordinary, right? I didn’t understand it, but I tried almost 3 different hotels until finally one said they would let me rent a room so long as they could talk to someone who knows me. This struck me as incredibly weird and I couldn’t understand it. The hotels would respond that single occupancies increase their liability in case the police come snooping around.

Anyways, I need to call one of my friends from Kottayam to vouch for me before they would let me check in. Why would the 1) hotels would be jumpy about people traveling alone and 2) they be worried about police involvement?  The two potential explanations that made sense to me were drugs or sex. I just had a hunch since I learned from my studies that drug usage and sex trade were prevalent elements in Indian society. 

Curious, I continued to inquire. Even though I had already checked into a hotel, I continued to walk to the numerous hotels in the area and ask for a single room to figure out what the deal was. I got the same rattled refusal from each hotel I happened upon. No would say more than they were just being cautious in case the police came asking questions. Finally, at one hotel, I explained that I am an American citizen and am looking for a single room. When they also refused me admittance I inquired as to why and the manager leveled with me. Apparently it’s neither drug or sex trade that they’re worried about, but the high suicide risk and rate of a single-occupancy tourist. Apparently, places like Kanyakumari are hot spots for suicide attempts and the hotels want nothing to do with that business, understandably so. I just didn’t realize that this was such a prevalent concern for hotels. I knew  suicides were rampant and had become an increasingly troubling trend in Indian society, but the thought that people would travel alone, rent a room, and then commit suicide either in their rooms or by jumping into the sea was new to me.

Place of Peace

So with that mystery solved I was resolved to enjoy my time in Kanyakumari by searching for a natural safe haven of peace. And I walked and walked and walked…walked along one of the kilometer long stone peers, walked through the narrow streets and clustered housing, then I walked kilometers from one end of one beach to the other…and yet wherever I would go I was met only with failure. An abundance of tourists, a lack of cleanliness, (the lack of cleanliness that can be associated with polluted humankind)…it was too much and precisely opposite of what I had desired. 

With the failure of this trip quickly becoming a reality I decided to take a break and have lunch…I thought, we’re at the junction of the three seas, right? The fish must be awesome, right? But no. I couldn’t find any place that served a decent fish meal and it was incredibly disappointing. I ended up having something for lunch, just a run of the mill meal…and then I had some variety of street foods for dinner, but overall it was disappointing…not to mention expensive, but not nearly as good as anything as I can get from my buddy, Girish, who's restaurant in Kottayam is pretty awesome. (He goes out and buys the freshest fish from the market when I call him and tell him I’m coming…and then he grills it whole or as a steak and serves it up fresh with an assortment of garnishes and sides…it’s spectacular….but I digress).

Plans for a Better Saturday

Since nightfall had come quickly, I decided that the next day, Saturday, I would take the boat ride to Vivekanandapara and spend my morning in meditation. I also planned out an impromptu trip to Pondicherry. Frankly, if I left on Saturday evening, I could be there on Sunday, and I could leave from Pondicherry for Kottayam again on Tuesday and arrive just a tad bit late for Seminary on Wednesday. I knew I could get away with that since I had already procured permission to be absent from the Festival at Parumala. And since we were already in Tamil Nadu, the trip to Pondicherry was only maybe 10 hours or so, which was a welcome relief and there was a DIRECT bus from Kanyakumari to Pondicherry that left every evening around 6am. This was great news and things had finally starting looking up.

No Better, No Better.

I woke up on Saturday and got to the dock and found myself in a ridiculously long line that winded what seemed to be kilometers long…annoying touristy Indians who were loud, obnoxious, had no sense of personal space, and had little qualm with cutting in line were just abundant. Dense. Uncomfortable. The boat experience was only a little more enjoyable, but the transit there took almost 1-1.5 hours because of how long the lines were. I doubted more and more the ability of this island to be quiet. Well, I got there, went in, saw all the touristy stuff that had me doubt the historicity of this site to begin with.  Anything of any historical or sacred importance is just commercialized and milked for everything its worth in India…whether Hindu or Catholic (and Orthodox try to commercialize their spirituality, but are just not as professional or effective as the Catholics...thank goodness? right?). Well, I went and sat in this room of meditation and for some reason I was expecting mind blowing silence. It was quiet, but nothing special. I was hoping that the ocean waves or its distance from the mainland would have created some kind of “other-world” silence, but no. It was just a normal silence. I had felt more comfortable and at peace when I was at Three Hierarchs or St. Nicholas in Champaign-Urbana during my college days…this was (here’s that word again) incredibly disappointing.  The minor frustrations continued to mount. There was another island that the boat took us too…once again, long waits in line, lots of cutting, penetrating heat…the next island was just a duplicate of the first with the same room of meditation. This day was not getting better…I began this journey at 830am and by 11am I was just itching to get off these ridiculous islands and just leave. I could rest in the hotel for a few hours and then head to Pondicherry in the evening…that would be pleasant, I could count on Pondicherry. I knew the city like the back of my hand…I knew locals, I knew exactly what hotel I would stay in, I knew where I would eat, I even had an idea of which rock I would sit on, on the calming rock beach from which I could read, pray, and just reflect…I knew where I would be getting my espresso and be typing from, where I would make good forward progress on all of the writing projects that I had only begun, but had not put to any definitive shape via words…

Someone Throw Me Off this Boat Already! I’m not going to Tarsus any longer.

And as I waiting in line to get on the boat I got a call that changed everything, rather a text message: “ALL DEACONS MUST REPORT TO SEMINARY SUNDAY AFTERNOON FOR ELEVATION OF CATHOLICOS PAULOS II”. So the Catholicos, H.H. Didymus I was stepping down due to age and health and the blessing of H.B. Paulos Milithios Metropolitan as the New Catholicos, H.H. Paulos II would take place Monday morning beginning with vespers on Sunday evening. So there it was. The Saturday afternoon of an absolutely miserable semester break with the days quickly dwindling and the claustrophobia increasingly setting in and the room around me closing in on me as each minute passed and the air being sucked out of my lungs as though with a vacuum…melodramatic? Yes, I know. And I knew it then too, but finally, the Jonah feeling set in and I hung my head and resigned myself to return to Kottayam. I went back to Kottayam that very Saturday even though I could have made a detour along the way, but honestly, I was so deflated and so demoralized that I could hardly think of salvaging a once-promising and much-needed break. I was bitter and angry that the culmination of a next-to-intolerable semester was this entirely insufferable waste of days and opportunity (it had been a week to the day since I had taken my final exam of the semester and had been for all intent and purpose, free). I’m a person who likes to use time, use money, but when I see it go to waste I take it very personally…as though something has been gone that cannot be recovered, which is actually the case. 

What’s awesome in an ironic and absolutely not awesome way is this: I wanted to leave Kottayam so badly, yet I spent more days of my break in Kottayam than anywhere else and kept getting pulled back to it. 

The second point of irony is I exempted from the Feast at Parumala because of its insane loudness and commercialization and yet I found myself on my way to spend my break at Parumala anyways. God brought me back?  Yeah, that question mark was intentional…but only inflect your voice with the word “back” and you’ll get the true sense of how I ask that question.

The third minor irony is that I sought fish and traveled 7 hours for it...yet it was only when I got back to Kottayam late that Saturday night that I went to Girish' restaurant and had actual fresh fish...I could have just stayed put and enjoyed it without the hassle.

I should end this post here because it has become incredibly long. Maybe in my next post I will continue with the elevation of H.H. Paulos II, however, I think there’s very little for me to say about it. Some may find  this surprising, but I really have little to say. Let me close off with how my break ended, though...a glimmer in a fairly dark week.

The Glimmer

After the elevation on Monday morning at Parumala, I saw our warden and when he saw me he asked, “Deacon, when are you going to Bangalore?” and I thought to myself “Are you serious??? For real??? You have got to be messing with me. There’s like 1 day left of break now…why would you possibly ask me this question?” 

But no, he was genuinely asking me when I would be going to Bangalore, which led me to believe that if I had so pressed the issue, I could have asked for a couple more days off and he would have authorized it, but alas, I am not one to take advantage of a system or a good innocent man like our warden. So I told him I had to cancel the trip because of the funeral and all. Instead, I asked him whether I could leave Parumala now that the enthronement of the Catholicos was over and before Vespers of the Feast that evening…He said “sure, you’ve already taken permission, that still applies”, so as quickly as I could, I got out of Parumala and went back to Kottayam.  

And why did I go to Kottayam?  Because on Tuesday morning I was resolved to go to Fort Kochi, the closer-to-home version of Pondicherry. I arrived at the Fort around noon on Tuesday and it was everything I imagined it would be. It was my kind of town. I spent a lot of time on the seashore as the waves beat upon the rocks…I spent some time in the quiet and just relaxed…for dinner I bought fresh fish from the stands that are set up for this purpose…literally they catch the fish and walk them 10 feet to these stalls…I bought whatever fish I liked and had it cooked right across the street.  The fish was delicious and the night relaxing. My home-stay that I occupied for the night was clean and without distractions. It was the rest that I had hoped for, as long awaited and short as it was. The next day I continued to walk around and enjoy the ambience, but ended up heading over to the city of Cochin and calling up my little cousin who was an engineer on the docks. He ended up having an off day and we spent the entirety of Wednesday together until I finally headed back to the Seminary a full 7 hours late. It was well worth it and no one noticed. It was a positive end to an overall negative week.

I was about to write a "what i learned" section...but I think I shall forego that due to how cheesy it was going to be. If any of you know me personally, you'll know that while I'm one for cliches and generalizations, I am not one for cheesy.

 In Other Notes:

I also should mention a couple of the things that have stand out over the last two months, but honestly, there isn't much. I will, however, note the following:

1) Dr. Michael Kinnamon, General Secretary of the National Council of Churches in America visited the seminary and delivered a nice lecture to the seminary community. This was followed by a private tea time with the American students at a local restaurant where we had  an extended discussion on theological and ministerial matters in America and regarding ecumenism. It was quite exhilarating.

2) Also, all three of the American 6-month deacons have arrived and we have begun to play football everyday. The new release of energy for me has become a wonderful outlet and I find a key factor in the turning of this last semester of my seminary education to an overall positive outlook. Although, I find that there is a new part of my body that can be sore and in pain day after day...I never noticed these pains before...but I guess getting older has its drawbacks.

3) Another point of great excitement is that we (the Americans) have purchased a basketball hoop. It will arrive before Christmas and we are all looking forward to a new era of recreation at the seminary.

4) Today, December 14^th, was the Faculty Review here at the Seminary. I think I ought to write more extensively about this experience as it was maybe the highlight of my last few months. It was truly awesome. It was reminiscent of the interview process for admission when I sat in front of all of the professors of the Seminary and was interviewed and questioned and challenged. This was a similar assembly, but only half the professors. Just as the first entrance interview, the mood was fairly relaxed seeing how they don’t have many concerns regarding me academically, disciplinarily, or in most other categories. Instead, this was the most open audience I have ever had with the faculty and they grilled me for almost 40 minutes (more than any else) on my perception of things here. I think I can honestly say I have been waiting for almost 5 years for this meeting to take place and to every question I was able to level my most honest critique, yet maintain a level of respect as well. The questions were introspective, my responses were reflective, and the reception was positive. All in all, it left me walking out of that room like I was on top of the world. I’m not known for my tact, but in this meeting I think I was able to get my opinion across without offending the institution, the professors, my classmates, or myself.  I think because I wrote this much, I shall not go into the details of the conversations. Needless to say, I have been preparing a report to be released and distributed to the faculty upon my matriculation from this institute. After the positive response I received from some of the toughest critics today, I am looking forward to coming discussions about Seminary and Seminary education in India. It was the wonderful experience of the Faculty Review that inspired me to start writing today in the first place. Hopefully there will be more writing to come, but I’ve decided to stop making promises that I have little to no idea whether I will fulfill.

Last Entry of October

I started this month with a string of posts and I was motivated to finally go about my average of like 5 posts/month...

but then I hit a writing wall about the middle of October and everytime I felt like I had something to write about it never made it to the net...there was also a period in these last two weeks that most of what I wrote was unpublishable for whatever reason...it was not appropriate for a general audience.

With that I come to what is most likely the last entry of October.

Exams are over. They have been through since last Thursday. While there is technically one more exam on Thursday, I will not be taking that until next semester.

Exams were overall not too disappointing...I guess no matter how ill-prepared I feel about an exam going in there's still only 3 hours in which you have to write...so I guess there's a limit to how much preparation one needs going into a written test.

Since the exams have been over I have been in a fairly unproductive funk and am slowly working my way out of it by getting back to some long-neglected readings.  I'm reading Fr. Alexander Schmemman's "Liturgy and Life", which is like Introduction to Liturgical Theology Lite.  It's a simple book, but a good review of basic liturgical principles. This along with my recent exam in Canon have me working on a few long-desired and finally slowly coming together articles about current liturgical and canonical, um, discrepancies in the Indian Church today.

Another reason why it is the last of my entries for this month is because I leave for Bangalore tomorrow for one week. I will return only on November, 1, Monday in order to participate in the Feast of St. Gregorios of Parumala. I will reserve my comments about the feasts in India and just leave it at "I looked for a way to exempt myself from it, but those efforts were thwarted".

I also am currently working on a paper that is due tomorrow (technically due a month and half ago), but needs to be turned in this week. Since I have only until tomorrow before I leave, I have to finish this night...so it looks like a long night ahead of me. I finished my notes and prep and just have to start writing.



Yesterday was a particularly gloomy day for the deacons at the Seminary. We have had a couple days in our 5 years together like this. Yesterday about noon our class reesch (the person in charge of our classes' details/matters who we voted upon at the beginning of the year) received a call from home saying his dad was in serious condition. It's a call that no one like to receive, but in particular a call that seminarians dread...that i dread. having essentially been away from home for 5 years it almost seems like lost time between you and your family. the worst thing that could happen is before rejoining them after such a long time, is for something serious to happen to someone.  it was a similar call that I received about my cousin a few years back...and then it also started out with "he's been in an accident and he's not doing so well"...only after some prodding did I get the full details.

but my classmate did not prod...he left the seminary immediately and tried to catch a a bus back home (about a 2 hour journey).

about 5 minutes after he left we received a call from his home saying his father had passed away and was being taken to the hospital.

our hearts dropped.  just 10 minutes ago we were sitting around, joking together, and now this.immediately a few deacons got our warden's car and drove to see if they could intercept our friend along the way. knowing that it takes 10 minutes to walk to the nearest junction where the buses come by, they easily picked him up as he neared the junction. they didnt tell him anything, but just said that the warden wanted to have him driven home...obviously something was fishy, right? but in india they dont tell people things of this nature for some reason. they keep it quiet until one is absolutely forced to deal with the reality...which means he wouldnt be finding out until he got home.  the rest of us waited at the seminary as a gloomy pall set in and we awaited word about the coming arrangements. Within our batch, this is the second father we've lost in two years. This one was more shocking, though, because our reesch's father had not been particularly ill...only the normal diseases of someone his age, issues with blood pressure i think was all. so it threw all of us for a curve and things are still somber around here now.

With this I believe I close this last entry. Hopefully after my visit to Bangalore to the two homes (one is a boys' orphanage home and the other an AIDS/HIV home) I will have more to write when I return.

Exams, Selection Day

EXAMS

Semester final exams have officially begun.  The kids started last Friday, the deacons began today (Tuesday) with an exam in Contemporary Trends in Theology...mostly all post-reformation theology.

Lots of names, books, concepts and just not enough concentrated effort on studying it all.  It was quite unfortunate, but the exam worked out ok.  As always I wish I had had more time. And as always I pretty much walked away from the exam hall disappointed.

As a victim of a chronic case of procrastination and lack of motivation, I ended up pulling an all-nighter just to break even.  Since I left U of I I have not been frequenting the use of the all-night study marathons...yesterday I literally drank a liter of coffee...I ended up getting about 45 minutes of shut eye from 4-445am...However, I was shockingly surprised at my lack of tiredness, sharp concentration and general positivity during prayer...

I think I'm resigned to mediocrity to a certain degree. I don't quite know what it is, but testing/interviewing/pressure situations have never been my forte and I think we're seeing that reality play out once again.

The next exam is on Thursday and I am slowly beginning to get my head around to thinking about beginning to study for that exam...:) I hope I was not the only one who got some enjoyment out of that last sentence.

SELECTION DAY

The Faculty met today to decide on the Reesch and Prefect of the Seminary for next semester.  It was a day that many waited in anticipation for. It was a day that those who desired the position of power would be disappointed and the one selected would have his entire last semester of seminary life changed by responsibility and burden.  Sure enough, my roomate of 4 years was selected as the Seminary Reesch much to his shock and chagrin.  We all predicted it, but he could not come to terms with it. He is slowly getting his mind adjusted to the cumbersome and tiring semester that awaits him...in fact, the first conflict of his tenure occurred today, before he even took charge. He's a good man and I am personally happy that he will be in charge...but on a personal level, I feel bad for him.  The weight and responsibility of the Seminary Reesch is great...and to have that responsibility (and honor in many cases) during your last semester of Seminary is even more troublesome...I remember Sujit Semassan going through that during his final year and that's when I realized just how undesirable of a situation that really was.  Either way, for the Seminary's sake and for the sake of peace, I am glad for the situation

so I guess back to some studying or sleeping...which ever sets in first.

Blackhawks 2010-2011

I know I blogged extensively about the Blackhawks in my livejournal...none of those entries have shown up here in this blog though...needless to say, those who haven't seen the sports' fanatic side of me, well it's a reality and thus from time to time I will be posting about sports.

The Bears, Cubs, Bulls, and Hawks, all Chicago sports teams from the four major sports, will be mostly the content of my sports' blogging. I just thought since the season is already two games in and I haven't so much as made a chirp about the new hockey season that I'd start with just a few words about the Blackhawks this year...for anyone wanting to read my thoughts and reflections from last season please check out my livejournal at http://ssv.livejournal.com/?skip=20


My initial thoughts:

1) I will not predict conference standings, repeat champions or anything of that sort.

2) The Blackhawks had a ridiculous amount of turnover due to trades and free agency necessitated by the hard cap in place in the National Hockey League.

3) While some of the moves (such as dumping Andrew Ladd) hurt me as a fan more than others (the trade of Dustin Byfuglien), I think General Manager Stan Bowman has in his one year shown as an incredibly astute judge of talent and value, bang for the buck, if you will.  Some trades I didn't like at that time (moving Steeger) I have warmed up to...and all in all, I see the Blackhawks as a solid team and an even better organization with greater organizational depth, talent, and vision than it was even last year.

4) This year's team is faster than last year's.  For those of you who watched last year's Hawks, you may find this almost impossible, but no, it really is the case. The Hawks are actually faster and in some ways bigger than last years.

5) The addition of Hossa for a full year (as opposed to injured for the first few months) will be a bigger boost than I think most think.  In a lesser sense, so will have Bolland back for an entire year...i love this guy and expect him to blossom this year.

6) The 4th line of the Hawks' will do some serious damage.  The Hawks' 4th line is far better than last year's from a skill/speed point of view...and as is already evidenced the lack of slow, lumbering checkers on the supposed "checking" line will result in a faster, more skilled, and more intensive defensive game.  As the first two games already have demonstrated, the 4th line almost seems to take exception to being considered a "checking line".  They will score. (but the question remains for me, will they score more each game than they give up???)

7) I expect both the Captain and Kane to have down beginnings to their season. I think after the wild success of last year (Gold and Silver medals respectively in the Olympics, a Stanley Cup, Conn Smythe trophy, team scoring champ) they are both due for a let down. I hope I'm wrong, but I will fully understand and expect it.  There's a lot of pressure on them and it seems to go against logic that they would start sweating AFTER winning the greatest prize in all of hockey...but I expect the first couple of months to be trying for both of them.

8) Unlike a lot of Chicago-predictors I do not see the Hawks' dominating from the outset. As you saw in the first two games (which were also losses) it will take a little time for the Hawks to adjust to such a huge turnover (depending on how you classify turnover it is up to 10-12 players including a change at the biggest position of goalie).  I am expecting the Hawks' to struggle out the gate and I imagine that by the end of November into December the Hawks' will start playing up to the potential that they have.

9) I think, very honestly, this year's team is deeper and stronger and faster than last year's team. It will have a worse record, but I feel that it is a better team.

10) The loss of Brian Campbell until November will hurt the Hawks' more than they would like to admit. We saw what happened at the end of last season as the Hawks' were literally coasting to the end of the season...when Campbell went down due to a broken shoulder given to him courtesy of a dirty Alexander Ovechkin boarding, the Hawks' began to flounder and look a little lost. Their powerplay suffered and overall their play got sloppy. As much as people dislike Brian Campbell, it is mostly due to his outrageous price tag and not because he is a colossal failure...He is an excellent offensive defenseman who is incredibly valuable to this team, yet begin paid a number one defenseman's salary...don't knock him for the salary, but look at what he provides on the ice...It will take Campbell's return in November for the Hawks' to really start clicking (which is why I wrote points no. 8 and 9).

11) I also think Campbell's injury is great in a number of ways: it allowed rookie nick leddy to crack the team. this kid is going to be something else.  what happens is he gets cushioned by the vets on the hawks' d. he gets some experience, gets to work with Hjalmarsson on the 2nd unit.  He wouldnt be on the team at all right now if it were not for Campbell's injury. However, what happens is when Campbell gets back the mediocre and underwhelming play of jordan hendry/nick boyntan will lead to one of their exiles...and all of a sudden your defensive corps is stronger and more balanced than last year's EVER was.  with norris trophy winner keith and candidate, seabrook at the top, campbell and hjalmarsson 2nd, and john scott/rando with leddy 3rd...you're talking about a very very good defensive unit that can score, play the power play, kill penalties and really have their way on the ice.  so Campbell's injury helps get some seasoning on Leddy, it also keeps Campbell rested and with fresh legs from having an extra 2 month vacation...

12) Did i mention how fast this team is this year? I mean, it's so ridiculous. While not right away, the powerplay and offensive will eventually start clicking...like I said, wait until december and you will see this team firing on all cylinders...it will be dangerous to deal with this Hawks' team cuz they can kill you in so many ways.

14) Marty Turco - will have 20 assists. his numbers look pretty poor right now, but honestly, the Hawks' defense looks worse.  Right now the defense is not playing at the level that it is bound to play. Give the Hawks' sometime to get their feet under them. It was a short off season due to the late playoff run and the constant two-months of celebrations that followed...just be patient...cuz Here come the Hawks, the Mighty Blackhawks...just maybe a little later than most Chicago fans would prefer.

15) Regular Season Predictions: I have none right now. I just think there are so many factors that play into this kind of a prediction...I will say this, however, I expect (given my prediction of a slow start) that the Sharks, Red Wings, and Canucks will all be ahead of the Hawks when the season ends...All three teams seemed to improve upon an already rock-solid and dangerous foundation...the Hawks' with as much intrigue and question marks are not going to catch up right away. Even though I honestly believe the Hawks got better this off-season, a healthy Red Wings team, a newly bolstered Canucks' D, and a hungrier than ever/embarrassed by continual failure/stealing the Stanley Cup goalie from the champions who swept them into oblivion Sharks will be chomping on the bit to stick it to the Hawks...I don't know whether last year's Hawk's team would have been as successful going up against what it has to this year.

16) Post-Season Predictions: However, the playoffs are an entirely different beast and i am not going to be surprised if the Hawks find themselves in a position to be the first team in the post-lockout era to successfully defend their Stanley Cup.

Clarification on the Wednesday Common and Resurrection Hours (Kyomtho)

RE-INTRODUCTION

This was in response to Alan's last comment:

While I feel that I’ve already addressed the questions regarding Kyomtho and Wednesday Hours and their usage on Sunday, I think maybe some clarification may be in order.

As you know Christianity in the first century was hardly distinguishable from Judaism.  Christians were very involved in the synagogue life of the 1st century..they could be understood almost as a sect of Judaism...only later in the century and with the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple did Christians stand out as a separate group (although, the first Christians are named in Antioch as seen in Acts 11:26. 

The shift from the Sabbath (=7th Day, or Saturday) as being the central religious focal point of worship life to Sunday happened fundamentally due to the importance of Christ's Resurrection on Sunday and Christianity observed Sunday as its day of worship.

In Acts 20:7 we see that it is the first day of the week (= Sunday) that the believers gathered for the Holy Communion...

Thus the shift from Saturday to Sunday in the observance of early Christians is really only understood in the context of the Resurrection. Kyomtho is the Syriac word for resurrection. It is the service that is used for Resurrection.

There is absolutely NO prayer called "Sleeba" except maybe a nickname for the service entitled "Feast of the Exaltation/Glorification of the Holy Cross".  That service has not yet been translated into Malayalam or English and remains only in Syriac.

The Wednesday prayers, however, have been erroneously and popularly referred to as "Sleeba" but that is entirely incorrect , a misnomer (Sleeba refers only to the period following the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross and Resurrection). I refer you to a few posts ago when I spent almost two full entries discussing this issue.

Where does the idea of using Wednesday’s prayer on a Sunday come from?

Honestly, it was a compromise that dealt with pragmatic issues of translation and versification and affects only the Indian Orthodox Church. Wednesday was translated into Malayalam, put into verse, and printed, thus popularly circulated first. Only after this did one of the services of Kyomtho get translated, versified, and printed…keep in mind that the use of Malayalam in churches in India is limited to maybe a little over 50 year history…prior to that everything was done in Syriac only. At the seminary, the daily liturgical prayers were all in Syriac. In terms of original tradition there’s little doubt that Kyomtho was the prayer used for Sunday and Wednesday’s prayers were used for Wednesdays.  The current tradition is a product of the last ½ century and really of the last 15 years as far as the Seminary is concerned.

Spirit of Sunday

The spirit of Sunday is celebration, not repentance.  No doubt we still have prayers of repentance on Sunday, but that is only because our celebration is always tempered/rooted/anchored by the reality that we are sinners and reliant upon God’s mercy.  That being said, even kneeling is not allowed on Sunday (Canon 20 of the 1^st Ecumenical Council of Nicea explicitly prohibits kneeling on Sunday) as it is an expression of repentance, not consistent with the worship and celebration of Sunday.

As an indicator of what the original tradition was I think all you have to do is refer to our sister Orthodox Churches…they maintain daily common prayers, the Hours, just as we do…however, when it comes to Sundays and Feast Days, they use the appropriate themed-liturgical services. There isn’t even a question whether Great Vespers ought to be used on Saturday night or Orthros instead of Matins on Sunday morning. 

We have come away from the authentic liturgical life and tradition and its important that through education and practice that we take the responsibility to do things properly.

Regarding your suggestion of using the Wednesday Hours (Common Prayer) for the Lenten Period

…here also, for the same reasoning as applied earlier, I would find it a less than a satisfactory compromise.

1)    First, Wednesday is not really repentance-themed.  That is an impression you may have received, but it is no more repentance-oriented than any of the other daily prayers…in fact, Monday and Tuesday prayers are more repentance oriented while the Soothoro services of EVERY day are of repentance.

2)    Second, there are special prayers for the Lenten periods. One of these weeks have been translated and versified into Malayalam…however you may find it interesting to note that all the Syriac liturgical services only have Lenten sevices from Monday through Friday and on occasion Saturday.  Never is Sunday included in this group.

3)    Third, there are Sundays that we need not use Kyomtho.  In our liturgical life the Church does not prescribe Kyomtho every Sunday…This may be contradictory from everything we’ve discussed so far, but stay with me…there are different themes throughout the year that our liturgical worship life reflects through her prayers.  For example, during Lent, each week has a particular theme which is a reflection of the Gospel reading for that particular Sunday…thus the prayers for Sunday of that particular weekend in Lent revolve around that theme and not Kyomtho…but since none (and I mean NONE) of these translations throughout the entire year have been translated and versified we do not have access to them.  So the question that naturally follows is: what to use on Sunday?   

The answer to that question is what I have been trying to explain…and I would say hands down and without a doubt that it must be Kyomtho. Until the translations and versificiations of these other special services are completed, the theme of Resurrection trumps any other potential theme…I hope to provide a table of contents of the special prayers found in the Syriac tradition within the Penqito that our Church follows and hopefully you will have a better idea of what I mean.  The absolute last option ought to be the Wednesday Hours…in fact,  I don't realistically see how it an option. It doesn’t fit into the equation at all.

4)    If you want to use a service of repentance for Sunday then like I mentioned before, Monday, Tuesday, or even a compilation and blending (the creation of a “NEW” liturgical service) of the Soothoros of the week may be in order…even then, it goes against the spirit of Sunday. Even the Sunday’s in the Great Lent are days of celebration, it is the Lord’s Day…no prostrations.  Sunday is a day that stands out from all other days.

I hope that I have made myself more clear. If not, please always feel free to comment.